Clean Cups........

It's funny to me how once you hit a certain age, you kinda feel like you have it down.  For the most part, even the surprises don't really throw you, because you have learned enough out of life by now to have a pattern of response.  There are basic rules, and once learned, you can apply them to the situation and go on.  You have learned to maintain a pace.  You have a pattern, you have WISDOM.

This age is different for everyone.  It comes out of maturity, experience, and yes, chronological age.  Semantics.  For me, this was early in my 30's.  I am definitely not claiming to have obtained a mastery of life or its lessons, I am just saying, that by the time I was, say, 32 or so that I had learned to take life in stride.  Most people know who they are by then, and what they want.

However......

Sometimes something happens that rocks your world to the extent that you are permanently altered.  You don't recognize yourself and all the rules have changed.  This is rare, thank goodness.  And when it does happen, I have observed it usually is the result of some NEGATIVE event.  Someone is widowed.  They are never the same.  Someone loses their job and their marriage.  They are never the same.  Someone gets cancer.  I will never be the same.  Oh the horror.....

Old dogs and new tricks.  Yes, it isn't easy but it can be done.  The old you has to shake hands with the new you and figure out how to live in the same domicile.  People raise their eyebrows because your time tested age old responses are suddenly replaced with the unexpected.  You don't even know what you feel or think at times.  And at first, when I realized how different I was, I was very angry.  I was awkward and uncomfortable.  It reminded me of becoming a teenager and trying to get to know myself.  And it didn't feel fair.

But I am starting to think it is a blessing.  It is a rare opportunity to change the things I have learned to accept as my weaknesses.  Or my hardnesses.  Pick your poison.  Not many grown adults get the opportunity to embrace a total change in demeanor.  And if given the choice, I am sure most would try to avoid it.  I didn't choose it and I WOULD have run from it.  But now that it is here, why can't it be the unique opportunity to get up from our spot at the table, look at what we have been served, and pull a Mad Hatter?

Clean cups clean cups move down move down......

I think I want to see what's waiting further down.  It just might suit me better.......